My Catch-22

This is a bit of a rant; I just need to let it go. Monday night my mom and I went to Whole Foods (or as she calls it Whole Food). I was getting a bit of cabin fever and we ran out of small items for me to eat before taking my meds. We waited till later in the evening when it is less crowded and you can actually find a parking space in the garage. I thought it would be a good trip to the store. I was expecting to be embarrassed by my mom  - that comes with the territory – but I wasn’t expecting this.

To Whole Foods I wore my typical outfit of stretchy black pants that I have been living in. (I love these pants because I don’t need help putting them on or taking them off. It’s the little things.) I had a tanktop on with a zip-up cashmere sweater too. My Uggs were on my feet. To cover my head I strayed from my white hat and used a Coach scarf that Amy (maid of honor) gave me over 5 years ago when I moved to DC. The scarf had been an accessory for one of my handbags till tonight. The hat makes you standout more when you are as dressed down as I was. But, I guess it doesn’t really matter anyways.

I was doing ok with the first few stares. I know I walk like Ozzy Osbourne. I get that that makes me stand out. I am just not as mobile as I was because surgery was just over a week ago and I still have stitches up my skull and down my neck. It is a little odd when I find something I want and have to grab my mother to grab the bananas hanging from the banana tree in the store. I can’t look up and grab the bananas at the same time. Heck, I can’t even look up! What got to me was when we were checking out. I was standing there, putting the items that weigh under 3 pounds on the counter. Then, I walked to the end where the bagger normally stands. As I was heading that direction, albeit slowly, I noticed a lady sitting at a table. She had on a nice Burberry all-weather coat and she was bluntly starring at me! I turned around, started talking to my mom and tried to ignore her. As we were leaving she started pointing to the back of my head!

OK folks – this is NOT kosher. At all.

If you’re 5, I get it. When I was little I embarrassed my parents at a restaurant by pointing and screaming “look mom a clown!” at lady in a polka-dot dress. When you’re in your 50′s-60′s it is beyond inappropriate.

I am not self-conscious about the stitches but I am about being sick. I hate looking sick but I had to get over that as much as possible if I wanted to leave the apartment. It’s my Catch-22. My need to leave outweighs how bad I look. But, could everyone do me the favor and not point it out to me? I’m just trying to blend in for now, I promise.